Late Night Thoughts

Have you ever noticed the serenity and peacefulness that is only possible early in the morning? This will sound SO cheesy, but there is something strangely magical about it. One of my favorite memories is last summer. I was at Peridio Key Beach. I distinctly remember waking up at 2:30 due to a tiny thunderstorm. I remember sitting on the balcony at 3am as the wind roared and lightening flashed in the distance. The air smelled like rain and salt and it was comfortably cool. Just over the horizon, waves thundered under the bright blue moon. I remember sitting under the stunning array of stars-- there were millions! It was truly breathtaking! The best by far, though, was the quiet. The world was asleep. Never before have I experienced such stillness. These days, there is always something going on. The air is constantly charged with energy. I've never known anything else until that night. Ever since then, I have been seeking that perfection. It made me realize that I've never really relaxed before. That night made me release a breathe I didn't even know I was holding. When the storm broke and it started to rain it was sensory overload. The soft sprinkle of rain combined with the tumbling thunder and the roaring ocean gave me goosebumps. The distant, vast ocean under the sparkling stars and glowing moon made me shiver with wonder. I could taste the freshness of the rain and I felt the tickling breeze. On a night like that, I couldn't help but feel so small. Compared to the endless ocean and the limitless sky, I was nothing. I believe in God, though I'm not that religious, but I couldn't help but feel His presence that night. I was immersed in nature-- His creation-- and I was in awe. The pensive atmosphere really put my life in perspective. My problems really aren't that big or important. Compared with bigger issues like world hunger, deforestation, and black holes, worrying about things like amount of likes and how big my collection of dresses is seems trivial and asinine. This realization may appear depressing, but I thought it was refreshing. I liked how the emptiness of the noise of civilization challenged my brain with philosophical questions and ideas. I liked how I could finally relax and not worry about a single thing. I liked how I was in my own peaceful bubble, untouchable by worldly troubles. The thing I liked the most though, was being one with nature. Appreciating it for its beauty and sharing its restorative energy.

Ever since that night, I have been pursuing that careless bliss, but I have yet to experience anything close. I hope one day I can feel that way again. I crave it, ache for it-- a real break from trivial, transient, small-minded problems. I want to connect with nature, be absorbed by its flawlessness. Maybe one day. Until then, you'll see me outside on my porch at 2, 3, 4am, chasing peace.

Kisses,

Isabelle 🌊

New Life

Hey all! I know it has been a while and I'm sorry about that. Life has just been so busy! 🐝

 I am very excited. For those of you who don't know, I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL!! On May 22nd. 👩🏼‍🎓👩🏼‍🎓 I am so excited to go to college. The idea of exploration and new experiences fills me with a childlike glee. I am looking forward to discovering new things I enjoy and see who I really am. I wonder what is in store for me. What kind of friends will I make? What kinda clubs will I join? Who will I be and how will I have changed by this time next year? There are so many different possibilities.

I will admit that I'm also worried. What will it be like living on my own? Will there be anyone to help me if something happens or I get into trouble? I worry about money a lot too. I'm not sure if I'll be able to pay for everything. Will I be able to succeed financially without mommy and daddy's checkbook? I hope that everything will work out. Will my relationship work out? Even though it is long distance? Will I be lonely? I'll have almost no friends at college next year. Am I strong enough to start completely over? I hope so.

Overall, despite the anxiety, I am mostly looking forward with anticipation. I do love new beginnings and though I struggle with change, a fresh start is just what I need. I'm ready. The next level band (I am a member of the Million Dollar Band!!), the next level education, and the next level growth.

Eek! I'm so so soooo excited!!

Kisses,

Isabelle xoxo

P.S. Roll Tide!! 🐘❤️