Colder Weather

It's that time of year again... the winter. It's my least favorite time of year. There are some good things about it, like holidays, school breaks, and Christmas music, but overall winter is filled with freezing temperatures, illness, snow, finals, excessive spending, and not to mention FREEZING TEMPERATURES. I find it really uncomfortable and unpleasant-- sorry Northerners.

Whenever the temperature drops below 45 degrees, the southerner inside of me recoils. Stepping outside and travelling by foot or bike for a mile to get to class in the morning is physically painful, especially when it's raining. I also despise the illness. Everyone is coughing, sniffling, and sneezing and I want to enclose myself in a giant germ-free bubble. While snow is cool and all, the only benefits of snow are aesthetic enjoyment, temporary joy and, let's be real, getting out of school. Snow is cold, wet, and produces ice, which is a hazard to all drivers and us uncoordinated folks who can barely walk even when it's dry. In addition, finals are stressful and determine my entire GPA... not fun! I'm also broke and can't really afford to shop and spend a lot of money, especially with student bills and car insurance.

Around this time of year, I always think of the song Colder Weather by the Zac Brown Band. I find the lyrics haunting and relatable. As my sister would say, it gets me in my feels. The song fully encompasses my emotions during the holiday season. For some reason, when the cold comes, my depression comes with it. The holidays are a very sad time for me and I'm not sure why. Society tells us the holidays are something to anticipate all year long. I feel like it is all overhyped. Maybe the sadness is the result of disappointment from high expectations. As we grow older, Christmas and the other holidays we may celebrate slowly lose their magic.

I guess I just have winter time blues. This is the reason I despise winter the most. I don't understand the appeal of winter besides the holidays. Plus, it's COLD, and the cold is the worst!!

Happy Holidays and Good luck on your finals!!

Kisses,

Isabelle xo

P.S. Winter sucks :P

After High School

College. Very scary. Very intimidating. There are so many different choices perfect for any criteria. Want a nursing school? There is one. A college specific to aerospace engineering? There is one for that too. For goodness sakes, there is even one for if you want to be a character in Disney World! There is a college out there for everyone. So why is it so hard to chose one? Heck, I can't even chose four or five to seriously consider! I thought I knew, but I didn't.

And when did my options start to dwindle down? When I was kid, my parents and my teachers constantly told me that I could do anything I wanted, go anywhere I wanted when I grow up. When did that start changing? Why, when I say that I want to be a music major, do people all attack me with phrases like, "You'll never be successful" "You'll never have a high paycheck" "You'll have no job security." Yes, I have considered it! I'm not going to change my mind. I love what I do and I want to do it for the rest of my life. I'm so tired of people criticizing my passions by telling me to grow up and choose something more practical. It's my life, not yours and gosh darn it, I am going to enjoy it.

When did the idea of going anywhere for college dissipate? All of a sudden, people are trying to encourage me to stay in state. In fact, my parents are practically making me. What if I don't want to go to an instate college? Money can be issue, I get that. But, I have a high enough ACT score to get decent scholarships and plenty of opportunities to raise that score. I'm also applying for several separate scholarships in addition to that. Plus, I'm already planning on getting a job! Money is not an issue. Another reason they want me to stay in state is because of travel time. They don't want to travel long hours to watch my marching band performances or concerts or anything else. They also want me to be able to visit them. They'll miss me. I understand that. I really do. In fact, I'd love for them to watch me, but I also want to go to the best undergrad school I can for music. That school is not instate. Music is a very competitive field, with lots of people vying for minimum spots. I need that leg up for graduate school.  My parents also say that some schools I am considering aren't good enough for me. "Their accepting ACT score is way too low" "People only go there when they can't go anywhere else." Yes, I completely understand that. They want me to be successful and challenged. Very plausible. But if it's a good school for music, why shouldn't I at least consider it?

My parents have good intentions. They just want what's best for me. They want me to go to college cheap for my bachelor's to save all my money for graduate school. They want to see my band performances and support me. They want me to succeed and go to a good instate school that will challenge me! I appreciate all their time and research and help and advice. I just don't want my options limited. I want to be free to go wherever I want that is good for music and that I can get money for. I want the freedom to be an adult and make adult decisions for MY future and MY success. I don't want someone else to make those decisions for me.